Tristan: Full Interview

TRANSCRIPT

Tristan Smith
Interviewed by Melissa Radband
5th February 2019

MR: Melissa Radband recording for West Yorkshire Queer Stories on the 5th of February 2019.

TS: I’m Tristan Smith, date of birth 11th of August 1998, and I am a bisexual trans man.

MR: So, what first got you in to activism?

TS: I think it was partially realising that there wasn’t a lot of stuff that already existed or that was already done, and yet seeing areas where things could be improved, and I kind of accidentally became a professional activist I suppose, because I do actually get paid now to do some of the work that I do for the students union. But it started with me just going in and complaining a bit, and they then suggested, ‘Okay you’re in here all the time, you might as well apply for this programme, where you might end up getting paid to do some actual work and get things done rather than just be nagging us constantly’, and that’s exactly what happened. I don’t know I suppose I just see things that exist in the world that could be better, and I like problem solving, so I see how I can work on them.

MR: So, what kind of groups did you come across first?

TS: There isn’t really a lot in Huddersfield, there’s the LGBTQ society, that’s at the university, and I believe there’s the Huddersfield Gay Group as well, but I’m not really involved with that. I lived in York beforehand and I was involved briefly with a youth group as part of Yorkshire MESMAC actually, so, that was quite good, but I hadn’t really been involved in any, like, activist groups or anything, and there wasn’t really anything at the university as well, they’ve started setting up an LGBT campaigns network that I’m obviously a part of. And I ran for NUS trans conference, I’ve now been in for the past two years, so this year and last year, but a lot of what I was doing was more through informal networks than actual groups, of just oh, I know someone whose doing something similar and then we’d be linked up by mutual friends, and stuff like that, than actual organised groups, cause there still aren’t that many of those around here.

MR: So, what were those groups doing for people back then?

TS: Which ones do you mean sorry?

MR: The ones that you were first involved in.

TS: Oh, the Yorkshire MESMAC one. That one was really just a social space, for young people, many of whom weren’t out to their parents at that point, so it was really nice to have that, and to have the chance to meet other trans people because at that point I was just coming out and I was the only trans person that I knew, like I didn’t know anyone else. So having that sense of community I suppose, was nice and that was really helpful.

MR: So how did it start to change your life then, being an activist?

TS: Right now, the way that its changed my life is so surreal still, to me, just last week I actually won an award as trans activist of the year from NUS which is huge, I’m being interviewed by not just the university press but I got interviewed by the Yorkshire Post, I think, yes the Yorkshire Post, about the work that I do, I’m meeting with serious committees and things like I was meeting with the university teaching and learning committee a couple of weeks ago, to deliver a paper on trans student experience, and people are taking me very seriously as a professional and it’s very strange sometimes. Also, the distinct lack of sleep, I find that I’m busy a lot because I am trying to do a full-time degree and a ten hour a week job that isn’t related to my activism on top of all this work, so I’m busy but I kind of like it that way. So.

MR: So going back a little bit, what made you think that it was your part to make the changes and start to complain, what made you want to do that?

TS: Well no one else seemed to be doing it really, and it’s something that I was kind of raised with is that if you want something doing, don’t just sit and complain about it, actually try and do it, and while I was going in and complaining it was to the people who would be able to fix it because I didn’t have that power. It was going, ‘Hang on this isn’t right, we want to do something different, we want to improve this, we want to have safer spaces for trans students to be out at the university, and to not get harassed and to have policies in place’, that means we’re able to take place in sport and stuff, not that I do any sport, and societies in the same way as everyone else, and generally for LGBT people to just be included and not have a horrible time.

MR: So what was your experience growing up and having no real group in place, how did that affect you growing up?

TS: There was a lot of repression I think, and a lot of thinking that… I’m gonna start that again. When I was like 13, I first considered that I might be trans, but I did not consider that I could be a trans man, I thought I had to be non-binary or not trans at all, because I’m not that masculine, I don’t like football and cars and things so clearly I can’t be male because there was this idea in my head from media that mentioned trans men without actually having any in it. So, there was no actual representation and I had this misconception of, like, what trans men looked like and also to some extent what bisexuality looked like although that was better. I distinctly remember being six or seven years old and watching an episode of Doctor Who where Captain Jack Harkness kisses Rose and then kisses the Doctor at the same time and that stayed imprinted in my brain for a very long time, and I hadn’t then realised that I was bisexual but just seeing that was very important to me and to my development I think and to my ability to come out as bi much earlier than I could come out as trans, and to accept that much easier because that representation was in place, even if I didn’t personally know any bi people at first. So yeah, I had that for part of my identity, and not for other parts, and so the difference I think, I can definitely tell a difference between having some kind of representation versus not having anything and not having an idea, because that kept me in the closet for longer because I had these stereotypes instead of actual notions and actual people to draw on, if that makes sense, I think I’m rambling a bit, sorry.

MR: So, what did it mean when support groups began to come in to place, and you were involved in some of them, what did it mean for you?

TS: It meant that I had a space to explore almost, and to come to terms with my own identity, and, like, who I am because it is a challenge when for all of your life you’ve basically had everyone around you saying you are this thing, and then you’re going wait, I don’t think that’s correct, I don’t think I am that thing, and having a space where people are going it’s okay if you’re not that thing, and people who might relate to that experience more than others, that is really helpful in, like, working yourself out and accepting yourself really.

MR: So, when you first came to Huddersfield, what was your first initial experience with sort of being a trans man in the area, in terms of, sort of, representation and groups that were already in existence?

TS: I was initially the only one again. There were some other trans people there, but I was the only other trans man that I knew of for quite a while. I was in a better mental place than I was when I was initially first coming out to myself because I’d built up that confidence from having those support networks and that experience and the ability to connect with other people, I’d had that already so I was much more stable than I perhaps would’ve been if I hadn’t had that before. But it was still a little bit isolating and a little bit odd to feel like I was the only one. We’ve actually set up as part of the LGBTQ society a trans support meeting every month now which is really good. Some people that come to that don’t necessarily want to come to the LGBTQ society meetings generally because they’re not out to everyone or they just don’t want to do it, or they’ve transitioned but they’re stealths so they don’t want anyone to know that they’re trans but they still come to the meetings sometimes and that’s very nice and that’s something that I kind of wish I had, had in my first year here but I manage better than I would’ve done if I hadn’t had support beforehand.

MR: So, what happens in these meetings?

TS: It’s mostly a very social space again, it’s a sort of just a chance for us to spend time together and talk about things that we might have experienced if we want to or just play board games and listening to music and having a nice time. It’s very open to what people want to do really.

MR: Have the meetings changed since they first started, has what you do in the meetings changed?

TS: Yeah I mean we’ve had lots of different ones, so we only started it, because its once a month we only started it in September, I think, so we haven’t had that many of them, so we’ve had a bit of a range and I’ve unfortunately not been able to make it to every single one of them, but I’ve gone to about four of them, and yeah they’ve all been quite different in terms of what we’ve done, but it’s all the same in that its very relaxed and it’s very sort of accepting and open and it’s also a space with no cis-gender people in it as well so it’s a different experience to literally every other part of daily life really, because you don’t get that anywhere outside those meetings.

MR: So, when you first came to the university, how has the LGBT society changed since then? What was it like then and what is it like now, for you?

TS: For me, it’s become more work because I’m leading it now. That happened, yeah, but no it’s really good, it has become actually a bit more chilled than it was when I first joined, it was very focused on a lot of drinking and a lot of, like, going out all the time. Now, I don’t know if it’s just different people on the committee and different attitudes and things but we have a coffee afternoon every fortnight which is basically as popular as our, like, evening events, we do more film nights, and more, a little bit more activism and stuff, we’re hoping to do even more than we’re doing now, but it’s hard to find the time. There’s also been a huge increase in the number of trans people who are coming to these meetings, to the fact that our committee is actually fifty percent trans people which is very exciting, that is only three, but still, because we’ve got six people in the committee, but yeah we’ve had more people coming and I think its partially due to the fact we’ve set up those support meetings to sort of encourage people to come in and the fact that we have maybe more representation on the committee than we did. I don’t know, I don’t know what it is or if it’s just different demographics, as older students graduate, and we get different people coming in who have different tastes and things. Yeah it has changed, but that’s not to say there wasn’t a really good foundation there to begin with because there was, it was still a really good society and I did massively benefit from being part of it I think.

MR: So, to win the award that you won this year, what sort of work have you done over the last year or so to get there?

TS: I’ve been doing a lot of work within university stuff, I mentioned that I’m a professional activist which is still so weird to say, I only realised that a couple of days ago, it was, like, last Friday I think, no it was Tuesday, I know days!, when one of my friends called me that and I was like ‘What?’ and she was like ‘Well you actually are, you get paid, and you do activism work, that is a professional activist’. I was quite shocked by that because I hadn’t really realised but what I do is mostly centred around the SU [students union] and the university, so I’m working on recommendations for curriculum reviews to make sure that particularly in the sciences, and social sciences, the information that’s given to people, oh, and in education as well, up to date, and accurate, and reflecting current best practice of working with trans people, because I’ve had several reports of people saying they’re using sources from like 1989 and they’re not right but we’re still being taught this as if this is current and that’s not great. So, putting forward those suggestions is something that I’m working on at the moment.

Working on diversifying the sexual health clinic stuff. They are going to be phasing out the very gendered pink for boys blue for girls heterosexual symbol on the leaflet inside sexual health kits, [unclear] but that’s being sorted so that’s good. Working on data collection and protection stuff, involving restrictions on how and when people can change names, titles that are listed on things, preferred names, possibly the ability to list preferred pronouns when applying for university and stuff in the same way we put name down. Stuff to do with like how we can make sure records are up to date and that records are universally kept up to date so that it’s easy for people to update if they transition while at university, policies regarding, like protection and safeguarding stuff, so how people report if there are any issues, what actual statements are in place.

Policies regarding sport, so, we’ve got a thing at the moment, a ‘thing’, great use of language, excellent, we have a thing at the moment where people pay either forty or sixty pounds depending on whether the sports clubs have coaches, and they can join as many sports clubs as they like, within that. But if there are restrictions on what sports trans people can join because it’s based on what the national governing body of that sport says, that’s not right that we’re not making that information available, and that really isn’t easily available, I’m still working on finding some of them because they don’t seem to have policy in place at all. So, putting together documentation that lists what those restrictions are clearly, so that people feel more empowered and able to join sports, lobbying estates to make more gender neutral facilities, and also working on a poster campaign within the existing gender segregated facilities to let people know that trans people are actually allowed to use the toilets of their choice under the Equality Act, and yet Stonewall research says that forty eight percent of trans people feel uncomfortable or unsafe in public bathrooms so, putting that fact in to people’s minds to make them more mindful when potentially confronting someone, and also to make trans people feel like they’re being recognised and they will be protected in that space, cause so many, including myself, have had very negative experiences in public bathrooms.

What else am I doing? I’m doing some booklets with resource guides, one for trans people and then one for friends and family sort of thing, to be made available in the advice centre, so that there’s information about what resources are available at uni, what pathways you might take if you’re seeking medical transition, how to go about changing your name and stuff if you want to do that, how to go about letting your lecturers know. All of this ‘how to’ stuff, and then a supporting one that provides those definitions and the information. I’ve actually got a definition sheet that’s come out now, yes, with the SU [students union], an extension on a programme they did last year with the black, Asian, and minority ethnic ambassadors, the BAME ambassadors, which is a ‘be brave with language’ thing, so it’s got some common terms and the definitions of those, it’s like a glossary thing, so that’s quite exciting. I’m also working on a training programme, which will hopefully be launched online for all staff of the university by the new term, and I’m premiering that at the end of Feb I think, if it’s all finished in time, which it should be, with the SU stuff, and I think that’s everything, I might have missed something. So, a lot, is the short answer, so that’s what I’m doing, and they gave me an award for it, cause it’s a lot, and then I have my degree and my work as well so I'm tired.

MR: So, going back a little bit..

TS: Yeah sorry I just kept going, like, and this and this, and this, and this.

MR: So, going back a little bit to when you started university, what was your experience coming in, and noticing all of these problem areas, what was your first experience how did that effect you?

TS: It was tiring in a different way because even when people were open, which a lot of people were, I was constantly having to do the work myself, and having to do the educating myself. So, it was like, ‘I want to register with this what do I do?’ they’d kind of go, ‘Well I don’t know’. So, I’d have to go away and find out, and then come back. Like when I was starting at my job at the SU here, just the first example that came in to my mind, I was saying well I don’t have a passport or a birth certificate in the correct name, what do I do for right to work? And the answer I got was ‘I don’t know’. So, we both actually had to go away and look stuff up and work out what documentation I needed to provide to be able to work. But the fact that that information wasn’t already known just kind of highlights that there is a problem area of people working in services, and I imagine, I obviously haven’t experienced this myself, but I’m hopefully having a meeting with the international office to check how across things they are in terms of student visas and things, and how, if people don’t necessarily have the right documentation, how are we working on that, how are we making things equally accessible for trans people when there are these added barriers.

MR: So, what made you feel like it was your job to make these changes, and to have these meetings and these difficult conversations?

TS: I’m getting paid for it now. No, I’m kidding, I mean I do, but I applied for the position to give myself this opportunity to do it because I felt like I could. Again, I feel relatively confident, and as I say, it wasn’t getting done, and if it’s not getting done, do it yourself, is often something that my mum was very keen on telling me, going, well, if you’ve got a problem with it, go do it, so that’s what I’m doing. And I do want things to be better in the future, I don’t want people to have some of the same issues that I’ve personally experienced, or that I know my friends have experienced, and things like that. I want to make things better, generally, and we’ve seen a huge increase in acceptance, and rights, and all of that stuff. It’s just keeping that going and keeping, keep pushing it, until we finally get somewhere.

MR: Did you have any sort of, quite early on, really early experience of activism and sort of, people making changes in ways that inspired you to make changes, in your own community?

TS: I didn’t have that much in my own community, it was really when I came to university that it changed. I made friends with Lucy Clarke, her name is, who is a fantastic women’s rights activist here, I think, I can’t remember if it was here individually, or the Huddersfield Feminist Society, that won an award last year at NUS conference, for all of the work that she’s doing, I mean you’ve seen what goes in to winning one of those awards. She was doing so much. It just kind of happened that we got on so well and she kind of just took me under her wing in my first year here, and I was looking at all of the stuff she was doing, and it did empower me to do the same for the communities that I’m in, to go, okay, no we can do this, this is possible, you don’t have to be some like, unobtainable amazing person to do this, you can be like a regular amazing person. Or, a regular just weirdo in my case, just going ‘It’s time to be annoying again, hello’. Everyone at this university is going to be so sick of me by the end of my third year. They’re just going to be like will you please leave, will you shut up for five minutes?

MR: So, when you first came to Huddersfield, what was your experience with, sort of the town as a whole, rather than just the university?

TS: It’s been interesting, I’m still uncertain in a few places, and there are establishments that I will avoid entirely, because I don’t feel safe in them as a trans person, or generally as an LGBT person, in a lot of them, and they’re going, ‘I don’t know about this’. So, yeah I’ve found that I have had to watch my behaviour a little bit, but I also kind of have to do that in York as well because it’s a similar environment, so, I don’t know it could be better but it’s not, horrific. I can generally walk down the street and be fine, but I don’t know how much of that is people just not noticing me or being fine. I don’t know, but, eh.

MR: Have you come across, in your activism, have you come across any groups in the Huddersfield, Leeds area, that are really doing the work that you’re also doing? How did you experience those kinds of groups?

TS: I’m gonna be honest, I’m not too involved in specific groups, but I do know of individuals and things. Again, mainly through the NUS stuff. I know people talking about what they’re doing in their communities, and also through a programme that I went on that I haven’t mentioned yet, because I’m going to be obnoxious and mention another thing that I did. Over the summer, I went on a Stonewall young trans campaigners programme, which was a three day, four day, I’m gonna say three, but it might’ve been four, residential. Where they basically took, I think it was 25, I don’t know about the number but I’m going to say 25 young trans people between like sixteen and twenty five, shoved us all in a house, like one of those year six residential houses kind of thing, it was like bunks and stuff, and taught us loads of things about trans activism from people who are like really high up in Stonewall and stuff, so that was exciting, and that was definitely inspiring for a lot of the stuff I’m doing this year.

So, I cross some groups, but in terms of the local ones I know there is like Trans Leeds, and Non-binary Leeds, and Yorkshire Trans Choir exists as well, that I came across recently because I happen to know the person who runs it, again I know about Yorkshire MESMAC and things like that, and the Brunswick centre which is local to Huddersfield, and they offer support groups and things. But a lot of the organisations that I’m aware of at least, that are very local, are either quite student based or quite support and friendship based, they’re like social ones more than activist ones. I don’t know, I haven’t spent lots and lots of time particularly in the Leeds part looking. I’ve looked around Huddersfield and there doesn’t seem to be that much. But I haven’t done too much for the wider Yorkshire area.

MR: So how did the residential, and meeting the people there, have an impact on what you would do moving forward from that?

TS: It was huge. It was really very inspiring, and that’s such an overused word, but it actually was, and I kind of went away from it thinking, no I can do this, because I’d met people at varying stages of activism, like people who’d already done loads of really cool things, and produced like, schools training when they were only, like, 17 years old, and going ‘This is amazing, what on earth is happening?’ and some people who were only just getting started, and it was a really nice range, but we were all treated on an equal footing. And there was, ‘You are capable of doing the things that you want to do and here are the tools to do them’. It wasn’t just an empty, ‘You can do it!’ It was an, ‘Okay, how are you going to do it?’ And they had us planning campaigns ourselves, and working out what needed doing, and filling out these like maps of who might be able to help, and who might be a deterrent, and who we need to convince and things, and the real logistical training of how to do a campaign, or how to do activism. And again that was really helpful for confidence in terms of the stuff that I’m doing now, cause’ there is this feeling that a lot of people have, I think they want to get involved in some kind of activism, or they want to do more, but they don’t know how to start, or they think you need some kind of special skills and stuff. You don’t really… I mean it’s helpful to know things about this but it’s not that hard to learn, you can find a lot of it on the internet to be honest, you don’t need to go on these training programmes really. Even though they are helpful obviously. But yeah, it was just kind of teaching us that we’re, as individuals, capable of doing things, and you don’t need to be on this pedestal to achieve stuff.

[END]